"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
should my penis look like a turkey
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
