Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize