I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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