soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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