I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
