giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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