I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
