her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
