So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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