I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
