Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
