Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
