apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
