The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Congratulations! We have a period
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize