Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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