I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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