i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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