He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
