here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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