And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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