I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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