this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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