barbara walters just said penis...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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