I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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