Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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