so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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