you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
