guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
