What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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