More tranny stories later!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
