Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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