Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I think i peed on brittanys purse
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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