fuck your aforementioned shoe
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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