I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
