R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
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they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
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hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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