I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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