My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
