Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
