i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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