No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
