You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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