Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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