Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
