so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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