You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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