P.S. I can't hear my feet
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
