i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
