I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm at about main and main street
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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