oh god the rape fog is back!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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