new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
