Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
