There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
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You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
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i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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