morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
