Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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