I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
